Since when do old people matter?

 

 

I’m so tired of hearing people whine about President Bush sqandering medicare and social security with the war. Why don’t you people shut up. No one, not even congress cares about your stupid retirement money. This may seem heartless and callous and it may be but you’ll soon see why these people have should have minimal rights.

 

ü    Most old people drive slowly. Anyone who cant pass a parked tractor shouldn’t be able to vote. Obviously our country has very high voting standards (florida). If you’re from Florida don’t feel bad arrows confuse everyone.

 

ü    Old people cant remember anything. If I’m not mistaken ¾ of all people who go to taco bell are old. It seems they cant remember how shitty it was the 1^st time and the 2^nd (ect.).

 

ü    Old people always have problems with hair. Have you ever noticed that most old men are bald and most old women have mustaches. Conspiracy or Gravity? We’ll never know.  What was I saying again?

 

ü    Wrinkles suck. A few may be ok but when you’re one wrinkle conglomerate don’t come to me complaining.

 

ü    For some reason surviving for over 60 years entitles you to a 50% discount at Ponderosa. My parents used to be hippies don’t I get anything? I unconsciously said “Far Out” yesterday. That must entitle me to some disability.

 

Somewhere right now there is an elderly person getting free Duct tape or aluminum foil. We must stop this before it goes to far. Screw the War on Iraq, lets bomb Bingo Parlors and the place where they filmed Matlock. That’ll teach them, if they can only remember their name.

 

People agree, old people blow.